1. Be relaxed and comfortable. Close your eyes and discover a warm, caring, loving heartfulness towards life. We do this by attending to the feeling of pleasant relaxation. If it is useful, we might turn our attention to somebody or something we love and appreciate. We then let that memory or picture or image fade from consciousness so that it leaves a sense of warmth, love and kindness in our heart. With practice, this deepens.
2. We begin to expand this loving kindness towards ourselves, our whole existence. With practice, we will begin to feel warmth, contentment and love throughout our cells. We acknowledge our existence, accept its presence and respectful to it as an expression of life.
3. Then we direct this love to those we love. They might include friends and family as well as people that we don’t know but for whom we have tremendous respect, gratitude and appreciation.
4. We visualise strangers. These are people that we barely know with whom we have little association. We might visualise crowd scenes or certain individuals. We allow the warmth and the love to begin to pervade those pictures and images of strangers with whom we will never have the opportunity to have any personal sense of association.
5. Finally, we develop loving kindness and extend it to people who we don’t like. These people might include people who dislike us. We might direct loving kindness to those who engage in acts of violence. These practices are practices to help overcome anger, negativity, hatred and thoughts of revenge. It is a way of practising to learn to be clear and accommodating in the face of difficult and distressing circumstances. The regularity of these loving kindness perceptions can benefit all, as well as our inner life.
When we are hurt, angry, wrathful, we suffer. It is a way of saying that we still allow others to have a grip over our inner life. To express clarity and love in the face of troublesome circumstances is to rise above the situation and therefore to rise above others’ as much as our own limitations.
When we have developed our practice of loving kindness towards loved ones, strangers, and the unfriendly; we can also expand this meditation until it becomes a steady way of being from one day to the next. We might remind ourselves to name in our meditations important people in our life. We can make up our own prayers, chants or lines which we feel keep our heart open, connected and receptive. For example:
“May my teachers, community, loved ones, friends and contacts be free from suffering and pain.
May my mother and father be free from suffering and pain.
May my brothers, sisters and relatives be free from suffering and pain.
May my children and grandchildren be free from suffering and pain.
May people appreciate their interdependence with each other and the environment.
May animals and creatures on the earth, on the ground, in the air and under water live in safety and security.
May land, water and air be clear and clean for the welfare of all beings.
May my daily activities contribute to the contentment, healing and insight of others.
May I abide with a warm heart and understanding mind
May I find the resources for the welfare of others.
May I be willing to take risks for their well being.
May all beings know happiness.
May all beings know love.
May all beings be wisely supported.
May all beings be free.
May all beings experience awakening.”
There are many occasions when we have a brief exchange with a person or group. Before or after the meeting, we might extend warm and kind thoughts to that person.
“May you be happy.
May you be free from pain.
May you live in peace.”
If we carry that perception of loving kindness into our interactions with others, it will have a significantly beneficial impact on our relationship with others. We open our heart to give love to loved ones, strangers and the unfriendly. We can make time also to reflect on the circumstances of humanity, to inform our social, economic and political thinking.