Do you have any real friends? Do you have any false friends?

WHO ARE OUR FRIENDS?

We sometimes wonder who are our real friends. With a real friend, we can share our inner life. We can open our heart. We can talk openly about what we are feeling and thinking. With a real friend, we feel loved and understood.

Friendship matters. We do not need a lot of real friends. We only need two or three really close friends. Here are 12 pointers to real friends and 12 pointers to false friends.

12 Kinds of Real Friends

  1. One who encourages you do something that is worthy of respect.
  2. One who encourages you to express healthy states of mind
  3. One who makes supportive promises and keeps to them.
  4. One who speaks with clarity to your face and with clarity to others about you.
  5. One who comes to you when you need him or her.
  6. One who expresses recognition of your virtues and qualities.
  7. One who offers much and wants little.
  8. One who offers to do things for you and does them.
  9. One who offers deep friendship and stays true to their friendship.
  10. One who supports the ending of bad habits and reactivity.
  11. One who never takes you for granted.
  12. One who encourages you to show kindness and compassion.

12 kinds of False Friends

  1. One who encourages you to do that something is foolish.
  2. One who encourages you to express unhealthy states of mind
  3. One who is always making promises but does not keep to them.
  4. One who is nice to your face but finds fault behind your back.
  5. One who does not come around when you need him or her.
  6. One who never expresses appreciation for your virtues and qualities.
  7. One who offers little or nothing but wants a lot.
  8. One who offers to do things for you but does not.
  9. One who pretends friendship.
  10. One who supports bad habits and reactivity.
  11. One who takes you for granted.
  12. One who discourages you from showing kindness and compassion.

If I have missed out any other kind of real friends or false friends, let me know.

May everybody live in real friendship with each other



  • Hi christopher, you set a very high standartd for friendship, I met some people who already hold to such standards in their expactations of others, but forget to apply the same standards to themselves and their behaviour in relationships, and the result is a lot of frustration and suffering, maybe an extra word about it would be in place here?

    I would also love to read a more detailed description of what you mean by encouraging the expression of unhealthy state of minds?

    Thanks, Roi


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