Here is a list of signs showing low self-esteem. The list follows a list of ways to develop self-esteem. We might know all the reasons from our childhood or painful life experiences in the past, but such memories easily get used to reinforce our tendency to have a low sense of self-esteem.
The last section questions the effort to shift from low self-esteem to a develop a strong sense of self-esteem.
We read and hear about the impact of self-esteem. Are such descriptions of ourselves helpful or unhelpful? Can we get on with our life without putting our self into such boxes of measurement of self-esteem?
Signs of low self-esteem include:
- Little confidence
- Compare themselves negatively with others,
- Have a problem in asking for something
- Have lots of doubts,
- Fear of failure,
- Need to please,
- Finding reasons to prevent an activity,
- Blame themselves or others when things go wrong,
- Trying to please others and get their approval
- Rejection of compliments
- Unable to start a conversation
- Show a fearful outlook towards the future.
A person with low self-esteem may withdraw physically and emotionally, act sad and lonely in order to get support from another.
How to develop high self-esteem
Other people encourage those with low self-esteem to develop their self-esteem. The resolution includes to:
- Develop positive thoughts about themselves
- Think about achievements, past and present
- Remember strengths
- Find ways to show self-compassion
- Do things which you enjoy
- Listen to somebody you trust
- Practice self-acceptance
- Keep a gratitude journal
- Engage in voluntary work to support others
- Notice what you appreciate about yourself.
The vulnerability of trying to develop self-esteem
The effort to develop and maintain and a keen sense of self-esteem relies upon a co-operation of views about oneself and hearing positive views from others important to us.
What is the difference between a belief in one’s self-importance and cherishing self-esteem>
Can inflated self-esteem switch to low self- esteem in the blink of an eye or in a single thought seized upon? What does that say about being identified with self-esteem?
A human being cannot protect themselves from such moments. Any situation or experience can reignite itself as a view of the condition of self showing low self-esteem.
I am not good enough. Things always go wrong. People don’t like me.
The view tends to depend on feelings/perceptions of oneself or others repeatedly stated – sometime over years. The views arise about oneself in a current situation or as a habitual response.
None of the positive views or negative views of self-esteem show reliability. The mind can easily return to the default position of low self-esteem. The same mind can experience plenty of self-esteem around one situation and little self-esteem in another. Self-esteem can go up and down like a yo-yo on the same issue.
You might meet so-called successful people appearing to show immense self-esteem, self-confidence and self-determination. Has same person escaped their low self-esteem through avoidance and denial? Does their behaviour confirm low self-esteem expressed as narcissism, desire for respect and material success?
Positive or negative, self-esteem depends upon feelings/perceptions, views of past, present and future. There is no stability in self-esteem since it is dependent on numerous conditions.
- Can we abide as a conscious human being not engaged with nor feeding any form of esteem for peace of mind?
- Can we disregard the language of self-esteem?
- Are issues around high self-esteem as significant as around low self-esteem?
- Can we take one step at a time mindfully and purposefully?
- Can we take one day at a time without living in the spell of views and opinions around self-esteem?
Liberation from low and high self-esteem is at hand.