Low self-esteem? High self-esteem? Why on Earth do we think like this? The Steps to Change

Here is a list of signs showing low self-esteem. The list follows a list of ways to develop self-esteem. We might know all the reasons from our childhood or painful life experiences in the past, but such memories easily get used to reinforce our tendency to have a low sense of self-esteem.

The last section questions the effort to shift from low self-esteem to a develop a strong sense of self-esteem.

We read and hear about the impact of self-esteem. Are such descriptions of ourselves helpful or unhelpful? Can we get on with our life without putting our self into such boxes of measurement of self-esteem?

Signs of low self-esteem include:

  1. Little confidence
  2. Compare themselves negatively with others,
  3. Have a problem in asking for something
  4. Have lots of doubts,
  5. Fear of failure,
  6. Need to please,
  7. Finding reasons to prevent an activity,
  8. Blame themselves or others when things go wrong,
  9. Trying to please others and get their approval
  10. Rejection of compliments
  11. Unable to start a conversation
  12. Show a fearful outlook towards the future.

A person with low self-esteem may withdraw physically and emotionally, act sad and lonely in order to get support from another.

How to develop high self-esteem

Other people encourage those with low self-esteem to develop their self-esteem. The resolution includes to:

  1. Develop positive thoughts about themselves
  2. Think about achievements, past and present
  3. Remember strengths
  4. Find ways to show self-compassion
  5. Do things which you enjoy
  6. Listen to somebody you trust
  7. Practice self-acceptance
  8. Keep a gratitude journal
  9. Engage in voluntary work to support others
  10. Notice what you appreciate about yourself.

The vulnerability of trying to develop self-esteem

The effort to develop and maintain and a keen sense of self-esteem relies upon a co-operation of views about oneself and hearing positive views from others important to us.

What is the difference between a belief in one’s self-importance and cherishing self-esteem>

Can inflated self-esteem switch to low self- esteem in the blink of an eye or in a single thought seized upon? What does that say about being identified with self-esteem?

A human being cannot protect themselves from such moments. Any situation or experience can reignite itself as a view of the condition of self showing low self-esteem.

I am not good enough. Things always go wrong. People don’t like me.

The view tends to depend on feelings/perceptions of oneself or others repeatedly stated – sometime over years. The views arise about oneself in a current situation or as a habitual response.

None of the positive views or negative views of self-esteem show reliability.  The mind can easily return to the default position of low self-esteem. The same mind can experience plenty of self-esteem around one situation and little self-esteem in another. Self-esteem can go up and down like a yo-yo on the same issue.

You might meet so-called successful people appearing to show immense self-esteem, self-confidence and self-determination. Has same person escaped their low self-esteem through avoidance and denial? Does their behaviour confirm low self-esteem expressed as narcissism, desire for respect and material success?

Positive or negative, self-esteem depends upon feelings/perceptions, views of past, present and future. There is no stability in self-esteem since it is dependent on numerous conditions.

  • Can we abide as a conscious human being not engaged with nor feeding any form of esteem for peace of mind?
  • Can we disregard the language of self-esteem?
  • Are issues around high self-esteem as significant as around low self-esteem?
  • Can we take one step at a time mindfully and purposefully?
  • Can we take one day at a time without living in the spell of views and opinions around self-esteem?

Keep Questioning.

Liberation from low and high self-esteem is at hand.

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