I wrote on the blog a few days ago about Naikan Therapy that asks three core questions to resolve inner issues about somebody else. Remember there is no 4th question in the Naikan approach!
I reflected on the value of this approach and came up with six questions for people in an intimate relationship. The questions can serve as a simple checklist. They are down to earth, practical and not idealistic.
- Is there trust when we are together and when we are apart?
- Is there a deep friendship between us?
- Do I enjoy the different levels of intimacy we share?
- Am I willing to acknowledge and explore the different expressions of my partnerâ€™s love?
- Am I willing to acknowledge and explore the different expressions of my partnerâ€™s hindrances to love?
- Am I willing to acknowledge and explore in myself further expressions of love and examine my hindrances to love?
If you say YES to all six, then you are blessed with a loving, deepening and expanding relationship.
What if one or more of these questions remain unresolved, rather than just temporary blips?
If you say NO to one or two, then your relationship certainly needs some reflection, and a change of attitude.
If you to say NO to three, four or five questions, then there is a lot of inner work ahead.
If you say NO over a period of time to all six questions? Forget it. Start a new life.